In the Morning

“Let me tell you, Alex Rodriguez needs to make a sincere apo-“
*SNOOZE*
“I’m trying to go with that, ‘Do I think, do I not think’ and –“
*SNOOZE*
“ – since the beginning of the season that UConn is the most tal-“
*SNOOZE*
“Save big money at Menard’s –“
*SNOOZE*
“I think Illinois could end up as high as a three or [...]

The Quest for the 2016 White House Begins

The race for the 2016 Presidency is now well underway, and honestly, things could have started off better in Camp Cetta, that’s for damn sure.  Thus far we’ve raised approximately squat to fund the campaign, making it hard to hire staff, and harder to afford bribes, plus we are yet to be approached by civic [...]

The Great Chicago Experiment – Statistically Speaking

As those who know me may know (which I realize is a remarkably limited opening), I am someone driven largely by statistics.  The last few years I spent working were based around reaching a certain number of claims processed per day so that I could spend the rest of the day either reading books downloaded [...]

My Executive Cover Letter

Here is a variation on the cover letter I sent around when I first arrived, in search of employment:
 
 
Joe, the Future Veep of Your Co.
Chicago, IL 60614
 
June 1, 2008
 
Re: Open bank Vice-President position
 
Dear Ladies, Gentlemen, or otherwise,
 
I am writing in regards to the available bank Vice-President position you have posted on Craigslist.  I feel with [...]

The Great Chicago Experiment – What’s Past is Prologue!

Probably the best thing about living in Chicago I’ve got to say is not having a car.  In Scranton, there was no having a job or going out or being seen as a respectable member of society if I didn’t have a car.  It was just a given, it was a necessity.  But here, a [...]

The Great Chicago Experiment 2! or “I did not sign up for this, crazy old lady!”

There are two subversive forces at work in the apartment complex I live in (three, if you count the mailman).  The first of these is a cat I cannot curse at enough.  Sarah has claimed that one of these days, Chester (as she has christened him) will be living with us, and I have said [...]

The Great Chicago Experiment

Or, as it has been popularly titled by the girlfriend, Phase 2!, Phase 1 being the 21 months she spent here surveying and building an infrastructure and training the locals to do as would be deemed worthy in a Joe+ society.  And for this great city, and for this somewhat decent guy, D-Day arrived, some [...]